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Past Life Regression with Aaron
Esalen Big Sur, CA ~ January 2018

I’m lying on the floor in Porter’s Yurt listening to the ocean and the calm tones of Aaron’s voice as he guides a small group of us into a gentle hypnotic state for a past life regression. Here we go!

I’m walking down a staircase that wraps around the edge of a seaside cliff. It’s cool and foggy. At the bottom of the stairs is a heavy wooden door with iron hinges. There is no doorknob or handle. As I approach, the door opens, and I am flooded with aquamarine light. I think, this can’t be right, this looks like it’s underwater. I begin to turn away, but I feel something pulling me back, so I take another look, and I think, I can’t go in there, I can’t breathe under water. But then something urges me through the doorway and suddenly I am in the under water world. Aaron tells us to look down at our body and accept whatever we see without judgment.

I look down and see that I have a long, curvaceous, iridescent tail. My breasts and hair are decorated with shells and beads. I have the strong knowing that I am a mermaid. And not just any mermaid, the Mermaid Queen of Lemuria, the ancient mythological sister-city of Atlantis. I am sitting on a throne next to my husband, Poseidon, the MerKing who carries a glowing golden trident. I am not that surprised because I have always felt an affinity with mermaids, but I am amazed at how clear and detailed my experience is.

Poseidon and I are seemingly happy as we keep peace in our underwater world, but I’m aware of a deep sadness in myself that has rotted into an anger that keeps me from opening my heart to my husband. The issue is that Poseidon is fucking all the mergirls, and I don’t like it. I want him to be with me only, but I didn’t know I could ask. It’s always been this way with the MerPeople. So I’ve lived with my hurt, sucking in my feelings, and keeping Poseidon at a chilly distance for eons. It has caused both of us much pain.

Because I am now both the Mermaid Queen in my regression and myself as witness in the present, I have a dual perspective, and I know I have the opportunity to make a different choice that will positively affect both my water world and my own present life. So I simply turn to Poseidon and ask him: Can we please be monogamous? And, with eyebrows lifted in surprise and care, he says: Yes, my Queen, anything you wish, but how will I keep the mergirls happy? We thought about this for awhile and finally, together, we invented the seahorses, all of whom, are hung.

In this moment I knew I had changed both the lineage of the MerPeople from a patriarchal to a matriarchal reign and healed some of the relationship trauma in my own life. My hurt and anger dissolved and our marriage became a refuge and a celebration. We loved each other deeply and shared a rich and meaningful life. We had a beautiful merchild who was healthy and beaming and sang the whole day long, playing and making friends with even the most reclusive of our sea creature family.

I wore silver rings on each of my thumbs and gold rings on each of my pinkies, and Poseidon wore the same, only the opposite, gold rings on his thumbs and silver on his pinkies. When we touched the palms of our hands together, with our fingers spread wide, the silver and gold rings met and synergized into vibrational tones that resonated throughout the entire underwater world. Through these tones we could summon any creature to elicit their help, alert them to danger, or call them to gather.

Poseidon and I were married for life. We had an energetic bond in the form of an infinity symbol ∞ that connected our hearts to each other with a particular tonal vibration that had encoded within it our personal tonal signatures and a melody that represented our love for each other and that we each recognized and responded to as love.

Everything in our world undulated, our tails, the seaweed and seaflowers, all the creatures of the sea undulated, keeping the gates of their pelvises and spines open and fluid, lithe and responsive. It wasn’t so much that we were moving, but that the natural tides of the ocean itself moved through us. The infinity sign was our family crest, a symbol of endless flow.

We governed our underwater world for over 300 years. We were happy and we had created a peaceful Oceana in the time of our reign, but we were growing old. At 300, we both had long white hair, beautifully wrinkled faces, and wise and lively eyes. But the time came when we were ready to die. It was a conscious choice on our part to leave our bodies behind. Right before we died, we sat together in meditation, and a warm red-orange light hummed between our hearts, connecting us forever and throughout eternity. We knew we would always be able to find each other by singing the melody that connected our hearts.

The sea creatures dug a shallow grave in the bottom of the ocean floor and we were buried with our hands clasped together, rings touching. Our bodies slowly disintegrated into the water and the pieces of our flesh became part of the sea and the creatures took us into their own bodies as they breathed and ate, and in this way, we lived on.

This was a truly beautiful and empowering experience for me. The images and details were extremely vivid, beyond anything I imagined possible. I was so engaged in the experience that I found myself crying at times from the depth of love I felt. I came away from this regression feeling fortified and whole, healed and hopeful. It rekindled my faith that I will, in this life, meet a beloved with whom I share such a rich love and bond.

Click here to do a past life regression with my friend Aaron Clippinger